Why Would She Do That? – 17/4/11

The most courageous act is to still think for yourself. Aloud!

~Coco Chanel~

It has come to my attention, a few times, that there are those out there wondering why the hell I am blogging about such a personal experience. Why I am not keeping things private. I find this is mostly amongst those from an older generation however there are also a few from the younger generations. There are several reasons behind my blogging which you may or may not get. Mostly, I am not going to be the wilted flower in the corner of the garden.

The first reason and one of the most important to me is the fact that my blogging is incredibly therapeutic and it teaches me about myself, it teaches me restraint. I do not share every blasphemous thing that I may want to yell and scream from the rooftops instead I filter the raw and very real emotion of what I am feeling. It is a release in a proactive manner. Being able to cope with such a situation is incredibly important as I have a family to care for. I have never and will never believe in keeping all my feelings bottled up, that is a recipe for disaster for any person. 

The second reason is because I am not of the traditional, old school frame of mind. I do not believe that the victim of an affair should quietly tend to his/her business while the offender is able to galavant all over town, scot free, with no accountability for their actions. I was wronged, my family was wronged and to me this is not an embarrassment. I find it far more embarrassing for the offending parties involved. I have never been one to let someone harm me or the ones I care about and not say something.

Many time's this type of situation is like the weak kid that finally defends himself against the bully and is the one that gets in trouble.  Kids put up with bullies until they snap... I am not going to be bullied, I am not going to snap and I am not going to walk away quietly. The best defense against a bully is to stand up for what is right. I believe in trust, honesty and integrity and will stand tall for those things. Keeping quiet in our society is the norm. We talk about bullying as an epidemic in our schools but it happens continuously in the adult world. Adults too, have the bully, bullied and bystander in all sorts of situations. It is easier to turn a blind eye or say it is not bullying, it is none of your business right? But it is! We need to lead by example and stand up. I will not hide in the corner and suck my thumb.

That leads to my last reason for doing this and probably the cornerstone of every bad experience I have had. It is a lesson, a hard one, but nonetheless, a lesson learned. If I am going to take anything positive from such a negative situation it will be my ability to help others. This can work in numerous ways depending on who reads my blog and who I share my story with but it also has a ripple effect. Someone who reads this may share it with someone else who is going through a hard time. It is a pay it forward type thing. What good would my lesson be if I did not share it.? A story has the ability to make someone feel less alone, it has the ability to make a person rethink his/her choices, to look deeper at their life, it  has the ability to give someone hope. As cliche as it is,  if sharing my story 100X over will help at least 1 person, it is totally worth it! 

The point of my blog is not to spew obscenities about my ex or the neighbor. I will share my rawest personal emotions in hopes that it will be an opportunity to grow and help others grow. I have never been quiet, probably never will be. This is my explanation and I feel incredibly good with my choice. The option of not reading my blog is always there. It is your choice!