Risk – 24/5/11

Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.  ~Author Unknown

Risk taking is not just taking reckless chances or playing the stock market. Risk is something that is present every day of our lives but we rarely pay attention to things like driving in a car or flying in an airplane. As a population in general we see the most risk in the things that may hurt us emotionally.

Having your heart broken is one of the most devastating events you can experience, whether you are 16 years old and just dumped by your first love or 32 years old and betrayed by your husband. The pain of being hurt by someone you love is one of the deepest cuts you can sustain. This hurt leaves scars, scars that effect your ability to trust, your ability to love yourself and your ability to love others. Those scars can heal and they can certainly fade but they will forever change who you are.

When it comes to moving on, getting past the reason for those scars is a petrifying thought. You question your worth, your outward beauty, your worthiness. These are things that must heal before you take a risk and try to love someone else. You must love yourself first. The thought of somebody rejecting you is mortifying, the thought that you may never find true love again is scary, but if you love yourself first, the thought of finding true love becomes exciting, the thought of someone rejecting you, albeit scary, is just another lesson  and their loss.

I am at  place where I hold my head high when I walk. I actually find value in myself as a person, a mother, a woman. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the enormous loss is my ex's and not mine. I know that I am a little hot headed, stubborn as hell, a wee bit of a drama queen and ever so slightly anal retentive but I am also loyal, honest, caring, passionate and determined. I know that I will find that person who will love my faults as much as they love my strengths. These things make me who I am and I will not settle until I find someone who loves it all, good and bad, and does not want to change me.

Knowing what I know about myself and what I want, why is taking a risk so damn scary? I take risks every day, I have taken risks my entire life. I have seen what the down side of taking a risk is - ie: giving my ex a second chance - but I also know the strength that can come from the lessons learned. I do not want any regrets, I guess it is time to jump!

You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.  ~Wayne Gretzky