A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving
Well, it is my first Mothers Day as a single mom. I was asked if I thought my ex would do anything today since I am the mother of his children and I laughed and said "No, not a chance". I wondered if I should be bitter but then realized that today has nothing to do with him, he does not even deserve to be on my mind today.
My morning started at 6:45 with a fist fight between my 2 youngest and my oldest yelling at everyone. I will not lie, instead of letting it slide, I cried. Yup, I thought holy cow when is it my turn to have a break. Why can't my children just stop fighting for one day or maybe even one hour. I had a full-on pity party. I felt angry, I felt sad, I felt overwhelmed. But then I realized, handling all this stuff is what makes me a better mom, so I will give them love and roll with the punches.
Being a single mom is tough but there are so many rewards that make it a bit easier. Probably easier after 8 when everyone is safely tucked in bed and my house is finally quiet after a long, loud, hectic day. I get genuine, not forced "I love yous" from my boys each and every day. I get to hold their hands when they get hurt (for example, my baby got 3 stitches to the head yesterday and he held my hand so tight, because he knew his mom would keep him safe.) I get to reassure them when they have nightmares, I get to celebrate their accomplishments (like my oldest receiving his Tae Kwon Do badge yesterday) both big and small. My days are filled with affectionate cuddles, laughter, giggles and smiles.
I am the one who stops them from fighting and reaffirms that brothers need to take care of one another. I am the one that catches little white lies and is able to reaffirm that lying is never acceptable, something they will have drilled into their heads as they become young men. I get to inspire them with respect and morals by example. I will teach them to respect women. I know at the end of the day, when the are grown, they will look back and be thankful for not only the unconditional love I gave them but for the clear, strict boundries I placed on them. They will never question for a moment, the love of their mother.
Today also gives me a chance to reflect on my mother. A woman who gives me unconditional love. A woman who raised me to be the strong-willed woman I am. A woman who has been unwavering despite her own heartache. A woman who loves my boys unconditionally and is a safe, warm, comfortable place for them to fall when they are hurting. My mom has dried more tears lately, from my boys and me then she ever should have to, but we are all so very thankful for her and love her very much.
So today, I will celebrate. It may not mean sleeping in, flowers or breakfast in bed. It may mean stopping fights, a little yelling, maybe a time out(not sure if the time out will be for them or for me) but I will celebrate because these are the things that make me a mom. I am present and accountable, raising my boys to be the best men they can be. Each set back is a learning experience that will help them grow! I will celebrate giggles and laughter, cuddles and reassurance. I will celebrate the unconditional love that I receive because that has taught me more about the human spirit than anything else.
A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all. ~Washington Irving
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