The Kid Next Door – 2/6/11

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." —William Blake

I am learning in my interactions with my ex, that we have to take the emotion out of our conversations, that it is 100% about our boys, not about us. Doing what is best and healthiest for the boys is paramount in raising secure little men. But how do you remove the emotion when it comes to letting your kids play with the Other Woman's children?

I will never again be friends with my neighbor. I will  never trust her. She had sex with my husband but even that isn't as devestating as her betrayal as a friend. She crossed every line a friend could cross, telling and twisting my deepest thoughts and fears to my ex for her own perverted agenda. How do I put aside those feelings when my boys see her son and want to play?

Her boy is a sweet kid. He was always a pleasure to have around and my boys loved him. My men were out on the back deck and saw him playing in his backyard today. He eagerly started telling them about his new bike. I went out and sure enough, the neighbor was on her deck. I let the boys have a great conversation with him and he even showed me his bike to which I replied, "It is super cool buddy" and went inside.

My boys did not engage her and she did not engage them. Every time I went out though, I wanted to tell her what I thought of her, what a monster she is, ask her if maybe she could remove the knife from my back. I just cannot get over what she did to me while pretending to be my friend. I would never say any of that in front of the children however.

I let the boys play for a while and then I called them in for dinner.   They were all excited that they had seen and talked to the little guy next door, especially my third who was best friends with him. They wanted to know when they could play with him next. My third eagerly told his dad on the phone that he had seen his friend tonight. I will certainly never let my boys spend time in her home or anywhere near her. I am sure she would never let him come to our home but at the end of the day, it is not about us, I know this but I am not going to budge on my decision to avoid her.

I cannot remove the emotion from this one. My relationship with her is not one that will have a negative or positive impact on my boys future. However, it breaks my heart to see these little, innocent victimes suffer because of the actions of 2 very selfish individuals.  Things would have been so much easier if my ex had not shit in his own backyard. I do not want my boys to hurt, I do not want to hurt the neighbor boy but I do not want to talk to that woman.