Confirmation – 25/5/11

The flower that follows the sun does so even on cloudy days.

~Robert Leighton~

Hindsight is 20/20 and often we are able to see the positives in a negative situation only after time has passed. This has happened to me. I have received so much confirmation that my choice to no longer put up with deceit was right and tonight, I got the best confirmation ever. 

I was having my nightly cuddle with my oldest, who is wise beyond his years. I asked him how he was feeling about things, what was he thinking these days? The answer I got was not one that I expected. He told me, "Mommy, I am still sad, just this much (pinching his fingers together) but I worry."

Of course I asked him what he worries about and he said, "I worry about you and daddy loving each other again and getting married. I don't like to see you fight. It is better this way."

Astounded, because most of the children I have worked with, who go through divorce say the exact opposite, I said, "You like things better this way?"

Again he pinched his fingers together and said, "Well, I want you and daddy to be together this much but not as much as I don't."

 I told him he did not need to worry about that. That mom and dad loved him very much and always would but we would not be getting back together.

I gave my boy a huge hug and told him how much I loved and admired him. He returned the hug with the biggest hug ever and said, "I also want you to be okay, I am not okay when you are not okay." 

We then talked about how mom was happy and that she loved him more than anything.

He, of course said, "Yup, you never cry anymore, I like it that way best!" 

We also talked about what his job was - to be a kid and have fun! I told him that I was so proud that he had a such a big heart because caring people are the best people! I am so proud of my little man!

This is a conversation that will be forever seared in my head. Something to go back to. I know for a fact that my ex and I will never be together again, I would never do that to myself, but on the days when things are incredibly hard and I am resentful, I will remember the wise words of my 7 year old so