Stars Aligning – 1/6/11

Desiderata 

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

--- Max Ehrmann, 1927

I am a planner. I like to know how things are going to go and I like to be prepared. I am learning however, that sometimes you have to take a step back and wait for the stars to align. Everything happens for a reason. I am learning that life unfolds as it should no matter how much planning I do.

It is really hard for me to let go and watch things happen. I like to plan in my head so that I feel I have some control over the outcome. I like to think that I can figure out situations before they happen. I also like to plan when I am being spontaneous -  I call it planned spontaneity. I  know what I want and I like to go after it but sometimes the opportunity is not always present and it frustrates me. I know good things happen to those that wait, but I want everything now. I guess patience is not my strongest trait.

There is no way I would have been able to handle the events of the last few months without learning to let go. I had all control ripped from my hands and I was without a plan. It was probably the most anxiety evoking experience I could ever find myself in and I amazed myself by handling it. That is not to say I did not try to regain some control which often left me hurt, vulnerable and humiliated.

The good things that have happened to me are things that have been a natural progression. They have fallen into place, little by little, my outlook changes. I like to think that I control all these things but the truth is, they are unfolding as they should. The truth is that friendships are changing and growing, direction in life is evolving and I am changing, learning and exploring  because this is what is in the cards for me.