Isn’t It Ironic – 18/5/11

Phoebe:     Hang in there. It's gonna happen!
Ross:        Okay, now, how do you know that?
Phoebe:     Because she's your lobster!

[At a loss, Ross looks at Chandler.]

Chandler: Oh, she's going somewhere.

Phoebe: Come on, you guys, it's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws…

                                                                Friends, Season 3

Wow, the irony! So when my ex and I started dating years ago, we watched this Friends episode, the one about the lobster. For the next few years, my ex told me he was my lobster. After the first affair in December, he started saying he was my lobster again. That is how he signed all of his letters to me - Your Lobster. He was even considering a lobster tattoo before he got involved with the neighbor and his brains shot out through his penis....

I always thought this was  a romantic gesture, one of the very few my ex ever did on his own. It meant so much to me because it was a symbol of our love, being together forever. From across a room, he could make pinchers with his fingers and I knew that I was his everything. I guess he was just a really good actor and this gesture was just meant to suck me in and make me believe him, especially in the end. This however is not the irony. 

 Anyone who knows me, knows I research absolutely everything.I decided the other day to research this lobster thing as the episode of Friends came on and it was a sad moment for me. The result of my investigation, left me in stitches. Not because the answer to Do Lobsters mate for Life? is funny but because the irony was hysterical!

Lobsters do not mate for life, nope, not even close! Nope the male lobster is actually quite the Casanova. He gets it on with pretty much every female lobster out there. Yup, the male lobster thinks he is pretty hot stuff! The female lobster will seek out the male and woo him and he will go with whichever female is waiting for him. A whole little line of lobster  loving is waiting for him. He has no loyalties at all. The male lobster is quite a player. Now do you see why I was laughing... My ex actually was a lobster, just not in the way I had thought. 

While there are many animals that mate for life, most are not faithful by nature. One of the few species that will attack for philandering is the black vulture. I guess I am going to start searching for my black vulture and maybe in the meantime I will have a lobster boil!  I always hated lobster... who knew.