"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." -Gandhi
I feel light as a feather right now..... It has been a week since I discovered the affair and threw my husband out of my home. It has been a week of pining, longing, wondering, questioning..... and here I am today... feeling happy.....
I have had friends and family members trying to convince me that I would never, not in a million years want him back and I could not see it. While I will never say never... wow, right now and for years to come, they are right! I am a very determined, strong willed woman who has never taken any shit from anybody and yet, here I was, in a sense, okay with what happened. I think I was afraid... vulnerable.... the unknown sucks... I am angry and I want heads to roll but I am free... I am happy right now, truly happy and that has been foreign since the first affair. I will maintain my dignity, I will maintain an appropriate way of conducting myself because I want to continue to be able to look in the mirror, no regrets. I am certainly scared about what the future holds... I have to find myself, which will be tough, I have to raise 4 amazing boys so they continue to be amazing and I get to think about dating again... although not until I find myself... I am my priority!! Dating... sheesh, that is scary...... Maybe it will not be when I am ready....
There will still be ups and downs, I know this. I will celebrate these happy moments as they become more common. I am ready to soar, I am ready to conquer, I am ready.... and it feels so nice to be happy. I actually smiled when I received a phone call today... just
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